Vaishu writes

what runs through your mind when it’s 3 am and you can’t sleep who are you when you’re all by yourself and your thoughts continue to run wild will it help if I tell you that we have demons meant to drive us crazy that eat us from inside and maybe that’s why the pain we feel is always from within, never on the outside so it’s okay if you’re scared or unsure if a tomorrow is going to rise it’s okay to be vulnerable to mourn the loss of every piece, you’re losing we’re all a little raw and exposed and scarred we’re all searching for our healing so tonight at 3 am when you’re trying to figure yourself out ask your demons to take away everything that brought them to you in the first place and then you breathe and start again.

Your memories are like those twinkling stars in my dark night. In my gloom, you always make me bloom. In my terror, you always become an angel. You survived in me, in many millions of ways your smile always soothes my heart, when I'm in pain, it makes me feel I can never end in vain. Although you are not with me right now in person but your memories, the moments spent with you always surround me like my sky. They make me laugh when I cry they make me shine when I fade. Your memories are like those twinkling stars in my dark sky which always make me happy, happy more than anything else.

When I say that I will remember you,  what I mean is that one day  I will be sitting under the tree on top of a hill  reading a book in the warm summer breeze and  I won’t remember my math homework  that is due soon or the grocery list in my purse  my mother asked me to buy for her, but  I will remember the way the sun used to fall just right on your red cheeks and  make your skin glow,  how you hated that the breeze would play with your hair and  cares the small hairs you used to tuck behind your ears.  I will think, I hope he is happy,  I hope he found what he went looking for. One day I will hold my baby in my arms for the first time and  I will feel his fingers wrap in mine and  I will hold my breath and tears will flood out of my eyes.  I will sit there and know that this is the happiest day of my life.  At the back of my mind I will wonder if your dreams came true too,  if you are now ...

Often I used to listen to people describing love, or read about love in John Green's novels and wonder would I ever be able to find someone who'd love me for who I am or someone who'd hold my hands and not just 'say' forever but also, mean it? For the first time when I saw you, I did not even have the faintest of hints that you'd be the person. My person. My one and only. From the first day that we started to know each other till this very moment, I have never stopped loving you. Your gleaming eyes when you talk about all the things you are passionate about, the places you wanna travel, your adventures, your dreams, all of them make me believe I am the luckiest person to be a part of your journey. A part of You. My love, I promise to travel every nook and corner of this world holding your hands, I promise to love you till there is Moon and Sun and stars, I promise to stay yours.  Only yours. Because we complete each other.

My life would have been different, with you. There would have never been a gloomy night, With wet pillows and unending sorrows. The sky would have never felt so burdened, Hiding its tears behind every daylight, Bright and sunlight. There would have never been those haunting eyes, Covered in the sheath of rain, Wanting to pour the overburdened heart. The head that needs support of a shoulder, Would have never been left-leaning on the windowpane, Watching the empty lane. I would have been singing to the colors of a rainbow, To read and blues and violet and white. My heart would have been feeling the cold breeze but, With the warmth of your heated love. From dawn to dusk, the day would have begun, And the sundown would never bring the end. For my life would have been different, with you. Let me know you one thing, you are the one who made me realize that  'I am enough for me' -VAISHNAVI DHAMODHARAN

It hurts. It hurts so much more than i thought it would. They all told me that love was the best thing that could ever happen to someone, but they forgot to mention that it was also the worst. Maybe i’m getting it wrong, maybe i’m confusing love with heartbreak. Either way, it still hurts. It’s draining me to know that you’ve moved on and found someone better whilst i find it hard to even get up out of bed.  I spend most of my days, crying over the idea of what we were, of what we could’ve been. There are days where i forget to eat and take care of myself because i’m too busy reminiscing all the good times, the times where you did love me. The rare times that i find the energy to shower, I pray that the water hits me hard enough so that every trace of you on my skin is washed off of me and goes down the drain along with all the other dirt. There’s times where staying inside with all of my thoughts gets too much and all i want to do is leave. I just wish i had somewhere ...

If rising was that easy why would I choose to fall, fall in the great dark, deeper than the oceans but little does anyone know that I did not fall in it, I dived, inside. the curiosity within me wanted to find how hurt and pain works but unfortunately, I drowned. I didn't know how to swim. the thing I ought to explore was vigorous enough to make me flow the way it [darkness] wanted. but I was not any other marine fish who's supposed to breathe from the water I was the one with a blowhole, located right at the top of my head. [dolphins and whales have 'em] my fins got stronger, and stronger, and stronger in the great deep little did the chasm know I came here with my will, and so I shall depart too.

We’ll run by the moon, We’ll look into each other’s eyes, And create paradises worth being real. As our palms meet, And our smiles sync, There’s peace in the air, Strong enough like our lost love, We found in different homes. And while we keep dancing together, We have new promises to hold. There would be rivers for us to swim, And places for us to hang. And we’ll ride through it. There would be storms for us to face. And scars for us to paint, And we’ll heal through it. There would be warmth for us to feel, And a fragrance for us to hold, And we’ll breathe through it. And as we keep passing, We’ll fade together. With our fingers locked, And our canvases stitched. For the last time, As we undress our souls. We’ll collapse, we’ll crumble, We’ll see each other, We’ll be born. We’ll be the new stars.

Thank you for leaving me At my doorstep after giving Me the best weeks of my life. Thank you for all those but when You left me you really showed me Who I am, I was shattered for days, It seemed to me I had devoured Gigantic rocks and they're laying In my stomach, weighing me down Each time I stood up to face the world, Every day it was a battle, I kept Fighting and questioning why you Did that to me, days were Hard to pass by, I spent most Of them sleeping to take my mind off You, even though you haunted me In my dreams and spent my nights Drowning in nostalgia of how happy We were and we never really had A good ending but at last I'm here Now. Better than ever, better than Who I was, I never thought months Ago that one day I'll be standing strong, and I won't pass days or nights, I'll live them. I live my life with more Of my heart, I'm brave and powerful And my happiness doesn't depend on Anyone. Thank you for showing me that It's the trus...

Memories that hit us at 2 pm has a different taste. While I write this clock strikes 2 in the night. It's drizzling outside. A soft melody is playing from my Playlist. All songs remind me of him. It hits me in the places that I try to cover away from the people around me. The time that I had spent with him, the long paragraphs that I wrote for him, the calls which extended to the mornings. Every memories reminded through my mind. Everything that was with he is painfully beautiful. All the little things that reminded about him scratched my heart. The wounds that were made by love is still in the healing process. Even if it was all about considering pain as home  it was all worth with him when we were in love. -VAISHNAVI DHAMODHARAN

Every Night I narrate tales about yew to The comets & The Moon& how much I'm drowning in your memories.  By hearing those tales the moon & the comets will be at the peak of the jealous, love I had love yew that much✨ Do you know something apart from the moon & the comet I love ❤️  Darkness; cause  "Without darkness, Night has no purpose" Like how the grapes are sinking in a barrel for a long time to produce a tasty - Wine, In the same way, I'm drowning in your memories to produce a beautiful poem 😌 - VAISHNAVI DHAMODHARAN

Love is never supposed to hurt. Love is supposed to heal, to be your haven from misery, to make living fucking worthwhile. Maybe I was destined to forever fall in love with people I couldn’t have. Maybe there’s a whole assortment of impossible people waiting for me to find them. Waiting to make me feel the same impossibility over and over again. So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love. But, what I want to tell you is, It's the love that goes through the hardest trials and survives that's worth having. Love is the most beautiful of dreams and the worst of nightmares. Love is never meant to hurt,  it is about the person we love who hurts us the most, We are the ones who hurt them. But, trust me love gives you A reason to live and worth dying for. -VAISHNAVI DHAMODHARAN