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INFANT INTIMACY

INFANT INTIMACY

Don't burn the pictures.
Don't rip the handwritten love letters up.

Don't destroy the memories that you made the happiest, because time heals but also brings regrets.

Because you can't go back & you will never have the same love twice.

Years will pass and you won't remember the color of her eyes in detail quite like you did.

And it's going to break you down and you will find yourself in bed at 2.10 am, 
trying to remember the way her lips curved, 
when she smiled but it's been too long & 
all the pictures you have with her are gone.

And you will start to think that maybe you shouldn't have been so fucking impulsive.

Put everything in a box & only open it after you have moved on &  
want to revisit a time that was filled with genuine love& innocence.

Because despite what you have been told, you can let go without forgetting.

It's okay to trace the poems she wrote up for you in cursive fingertips, 
remembering what it was like the first time you laid eyes on her.

It's okay to smile at the pictures of you two kissing; 
after all, 
her lips were the ones to show you how it was done-it's okay if your eyes well up because you can 
still feel her holding your shaking hands.

It's okay if you laugh at the promise of forever that two kids made because even though it was too big of a promise at that age, 
it was admirable.

It's okay to close that box &   put it back under your bed or in the back of your closet to collect dust for another 6 months while you live & 
fall in love again & again.

You will always remember her with or without the pictures but having them makes it a lot easier when you're no longer a kid & you've loved a handful of women after her and the color of their eyes are mixing in with hers and all you want is to be sure.

When all you want is to remember where a love was walking her home from school kissing her on the cheek.


When love didn't mean doing drugs or getting undressed.

-VAISHNAVI DHAMODHARAN.

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